Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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