i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
