Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
