Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
