a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
