Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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