i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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