i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
