Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
