He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize