I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
