Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
