We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
