i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
