We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
