im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
