Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize