took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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