it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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