Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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