so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He felt like a one man threesome
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
