i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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