Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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