I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
