we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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