I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
His nipple licking is glorious
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