it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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