whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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