Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
