I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize