I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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