There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
