I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
