all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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