Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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