he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
