I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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