I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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