Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
