Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
