i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
