it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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