Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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