Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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