i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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