i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
