Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize