Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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