just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
