Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
