are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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