Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
