on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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