Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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