They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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