You're so nebulous sometimes
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
