I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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