i don't like sucking hair
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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