who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
