At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
BRING THE BAGELS
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
