Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
