I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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