just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
420 ftw
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
