Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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