that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize