Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize