Best friends brother. Beat that.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
