I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My liver just had a heart attack.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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