I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
