Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Do vagina's smell?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
