I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Boobs speak an international language.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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