so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
