dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
