they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize