hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He shit in the fireplace
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
