i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
