he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
