I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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