I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
