so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
