My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
