toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
