Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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