Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
