I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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