The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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