guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
