i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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