Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
